Dear Secret Santa Darcy,

Thank you for the gift of Wooden Pineapple Cribbage Board. The wood is nice. It is smooth and it is stained. The holes are of adequate size and are more or less properly aligned. From time to time, I have been known to say that, “Cribbage really is the best 2 player card game.” You must have known this when taking your eBay bidding into account. This shows that you know me, and you love me. I really enjoy this gift. Certainly, I enjoy it more than the star shaped jar filled with peanut M&M’s that my mom gave me.

Besides the fact that this gift is both aesthetically and emotionally pleasing, I also like it for the simple reason that it looks like it could have been picked up at a prison gift shop in Hawaii. I bet Dog the Bounty Hunter has one of these puppies on his coffee table at home. I’m guessing that when he gets done with a long day of shaking down Hawaiian scumbags he sits down on his white leather couch next to his extremely buoyant wife, takes off his Oakley MP3 sunglasses and relaxes with a few games of Pineapple infused cribbage. Just a thought…